Benched Week 80: moments and memories

It had not been my plan to find a bench before my son’s wedding. But we arrived at the gorgeous Chadds Ford farm on Sunday morning with time to spare. Finding myself alone in the barn with this rustic bench right before me, I sat down and took a few moments to let it all soak in.



As you know, if you regularly read this blog, I’ve discovered that co-creating has become a major theme for me. Sitting on the bench, I had a chance to consider how many people had contributed ideas for the event that was about to happen.



A great number of the decorating ideas came from my son and his bride. The use of the farm-grown peonies on the tables. Mason jars coated inside with paint. Strings of lights.  Drapery.



Copies of the same day of the New York Times crossword puzzle were placed at each setting, commemorating the bride’s recently-departed, beloved grandfather’s hobby.



Her mom planted flowers outside. Her sister baked 200 cupcakes.



My wife added timely suggestions. My eldest son used his problem-solving expertise to hang various adornments.



I contributed my hand-lettering, first on direction signs.



   And then on the welcome chalkboard.







I suppose it shouldn’t have surprised me to realize that a wedding is a collaborative event.   After all, two families, linked by a relationship, come together and share their abilities and talents to create a memory – not just for the happy couple but also for those who come to join them in celebrating. It’s a communal experience, meant to give each person a story, which they then take home and shape as they retell it.

The collaboration, then, isn’t just in the making of the event (or, for that matter, a piece of art). The co-creating continues through the shaping of each person’s memory of what happened. It’s ongoing.



Just like a relationship. I’m so happy for my son and, now, daughter-in-law. They have a whole life ahead of them to use the everyday materials of life to fashion experiences – for them and for others – that can be framed and enjoyed throughout the years ahead.

Co-creating. It’s what a wedding – and a marriage -- is all about.